Gay in America: Army of NONE?

Mr. Hines
I looked up the word tolerance on dictionary.com. Here are 4 out of the first 7 definitions:

1.
a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry.
2.
a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
3.
interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
4.
the act or capacity of enduring; endurance: My tolerance of noise is limited.

I am fascinated with the use of the word tolerance with regard to relations between the different races, genders, religions, and sexual orientations found in America. My fascination spawns from its ambiguity. One has to wonder, when tolerance of a group is referenced, exactly which definition above is applicable?

Definitions 1 and 2 are quite similar, and offer a generally positive perspective on one's feelings towards a group. Definition 3 differs slightly, but is fundamentally positive.

Definition 4, however, is a drastic departure from the tone sensed in the first 3. It seems to suggest less of an allowing, understanding, or live and let live attitude. Instead it emotes a feeling of near exacerbation, a finite limit or level of allowance.

If America is a country with a government who claims to uphold, practice, and promote tolerance; tolerance of those around us who are different, (be it race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation), where does the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy fit in? The origin of this policy dates as far back as the Revolutionary War, at which time sodomy was treated as grounds for dishonorable discharge from the armed forces. In 1942, homosexuality was officially recognized as grounds for separation from the military. In 2009, in a 'tolerant' America, the same policy exists.

The question becomes, is Don't Ask, Don't Tell an example of our tolerant nature? Or, more succinctly, is tolerance, by its own definition, actually a smokescreen for a general exercise of intolerance? I have chosen not to engage in a cliche conversation, with the normal benchmark statements like, Gays can fight just as well as heterosexuals! Or This is the same prejudice that afflicted Blacks and other minorities in the military. Such statements made when attempting to argue such a point are futile when used against the perpetrator. I liken it to coming into a room and finding a trail of destruction, asking your 6 yr old rhetorically "Who made this mess?". Your 6 yr old pointing at the crib containing your 6 month old, insisting the infant did it, simultaneously swearing to God he hadn't, all with the a look of innocence on his face that, for a split second, actually makes you think you're crazy.

I personally don't want to be tolerated. Not as a Black person, a man, a homosexual, or anything else. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is equivalent to 'hide the gay, and you can stay'. It drives home the reality that in our society, we have fair, objective, permissive attitudes towards your opinions, practices, religion, race, or sexual orientation...just as long as 'we' agree with them, and they don't make 'us' uncomfortable.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is an appalling microscope that magnifies the harsh hypocrisy that plagues or social fiber. Note that I have not given my personal feeling or moral interpretation of homosexuality. It is unimportant, if not totally irrelevant. The opportunity to work for a company, serve in the military, study at an institution, or attend services at a place of worship is supposedly a right we were extended as Americans, immune from judgement based upon race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.

I guess I'm just tolerant (definitions 1, 2, and 3) like that...


Miss Mya:
Tolerance….under what societal “rules” and/or cultural mores include tolerance? To what extent is this “tolerance” exercised? Is the United States of America a country that claims to uphold tolerance? Or does the "tolerance" occur only after oppressed individuals present no other choice but to tolerate their culture and existence? Tolerance is not a forced reaction but a proactive measure, a voluntary choice, if you will.

The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy is an issue of…wait a minute, what exactly is the issue? At this point, I’m not convinced it’s tolerance, per se. News segments, articles or various blogs will explain their stance or viewpoint but no one ever comes right out to say why there is a “preferred” sexual orientation in the military. I’ll tell you why: homosexuality is a different breed of a protected class. There’s a certain stigma attached to gays that makes heterosexuals uncomfortable. That subtle and/or overt uneasiness toward what homosexuality may represent is the threat to one’s own masculinity or femininity.

Have you ever had a person of the same sex approach you with romantic advances that were unwelcome? How did it make you feel? Honestly, it made me feel a tad bit violated as the person knew my sexual orientation and that I did not 'roll like that'. Why did it bother me you ask? From what I understand, there are some in the gay community that “get off” on approaching heterosexuals as a challenge to turn them out (if this is getting too raw for you, you may want to stop reading)! So in other words, this chick was totally coming on to me in hopes she would get me to like and enjoy her sexual advances (and whatever else was on her freaky little mind)! This is an isolated case and I personally don’t believe this is the norm. However, because that stigma is out there and we know that it occurs, the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy was presented to help the masses serving alongside their countrymen.

So, did the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy achieve the goal it set out to achieve? Unfortunately, I can’t say that it did. It has caused healthy, competent, intelligent, homosexual soldiers to be discharge from the military because the real issue of them serving in the military was not addressed. America has a track-record of managing the symptoms instead of getting to the root of the problem and finding a cure. Although, I don’t believe in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, I can certainly relate to and understand the ideology behind it.